Let's cuddle up to accepting others

Sun, Oct. 28, 2007

The air has finally cooled. My son asked where his flannel sheets were and said he welcomed "snuggle time."

We're big snugglers in this house, so I joined in his excitement. As we rooted out the sheets, he said, "People here use the word cuddle instead of snuggle. I like snuggle better."

I had never thought about these word differences. I noticed a variety of Southern/Northern dissimilarities when we first moved to the South. Most noticeable were Southern accents and different food and beverage choices such as grits and sweet tea.

In some instances, I had to work against prejudices I had about Southern traits. I didn't know I had them until I moved to Charlotte.

For example, I had an unconscious belief that strong, twangy accents represented ignorance. Years of watching shows such as the "Beverly Hillbillies" and seeing cartoon representations of "barefoot and pregnant" Southerners had rooted inside me in a prejudicial way.

It wasn't until these notions reared their ugly selves that I had to recognize them and dispel their mythology. Luckily for me, I was raised in a home where cultural stereotypes were always discussed when they popped up and talked about for what they were -- overly simplified and often harmful ideas.

When I looked up the definitions of snuggle and cuddle, I found that they were almost the same. The major differences were in their verb types and how they were used.

Often, the very stereotypes that cause hatred and prejudice are the very words or ideas that are not that different.

I am glad my son is aware of his surroundings and notices the diverse ways people use words. I'm also pleased he decides what to use in his own language.

Most important, I'm proud he doesn't judge someone for saying cuddle instead of snuggle. He notes the distinction and chooses to say "snuggle."

Pausing to understand cultural differences and accept them as only that -- different -- would help solve many of the misunderstandings between people who, in their humanity, are more alike than different.